Some companies now offer customers the option to opt out of emails related to sensitive occasions like Father’s Day. While intended to show empathy, the increasing volume of these opt-out messages has left many grieving individuals feeling overwhelmed, raising questions about whether this is true compassion or a marketing tactic.
Charlotte Andrews lost her father to vascular dementia in 2020. Initially, she welcomed UK florist Bloom & Wild’s initiative to let customers avoid Father’s Day emails, seeing it as a rare act of sensitivity. But as more companies adopted the practice, Andrews found herself receiving more opt-out requests than actual Father’s Day promotions, which felt intrusive.
Julie Lamont, a grief counsellor at Butterflies Bereavement Support in Hampshire, believes the idea began with good intentions. “The concept is lovely, it comes from compassion and understanding,” she said. However, as the trend grew, she described it as a “marketing ploy” that can become distressing for those dealing with loss, undermining their sense of control and potentially causing feelings of manipulation.
Bloom & Wild’s co-founder Aron Gelbard explained that the opt-out option originated from customer requests in 2019. He said the positive response was unexpected, with 17,000 customers opting out within 24 hours. Despite fears it might reduce sales, customers reportedly placed more orders at other times, perceiving the brand more favorably.
The company later launched the Thoughtful Marketing Movement to encourage others to adopt similar practices. However, Gelbard observed that as unrelated brands jumped on board, the gesture lost authenticity and felt performative. He also acknowledged the overload of opt-out emails, with some people receiving dozens or even hundreds yearly.
In response, Bloom & Wild ceased sending opt-out emails in 2024, instead offering a preference centre on their website where customers can mute messages about occasions like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Valentine’s Day, without specific email prompts.
Marketing expert Vikki Randles of Fresh Perspective Marketing supports the opt-out concept when used sincerely. “It has to be authentic,” she said, noting it works if the products relate directly to the occasion. Randles questioned the motive when unrelated products, such as children’s toys, use this approach. Despite her own loss, she usually does not opt out of Father’s Day emails, as she still buys gifts for her husband on behalf of their children.
For many, Father’s Day remains a difficult time. As brands balance empathy with engagement, providing customers the choice to quiet communications may be the most respectful approach.
If you or someone you know is affected by grief or bereavement, support is available through BBC Action Line.