In recent years, some companies have introduced the option to opt out of marketing emails around sensitive occasions like Father’s Day. While initially seen as a compassionate gesture, the growing volume of such opt-out messages has sparked questions about whether this is genuine empathy or a marketing strategy.
Charlotte Andrews shares her experience of losing her father in 2020 and notes that the UK florist Bloom & Wild was the first to offer customers a way to stop receiving emails about major dates like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. At first, these messages seemed thoughtful, but as more companies adopted the practice, the opt-out emails have become overwhelming.
This year, Andrews received more emails inviting her to opt out of Father’s Day communications than actual promotional messages for the day itself.
Julie Lamont, a grief counsellor at Butterflies Bereavement Support in Eastleigh, Hampshire, says the initial intent behind these emails was positive, stemming from compassion rarely seen in commercial settings. However, as the practice spread, it has become a “marketing ploy” that can feel intrusive to those coping with loss.
Lamont explains that unsolicited emails may trigger painful reminders and cause people to feel powerless in managing their grief. “In dealing with loss we need to feel that we have a modicum of control,” she said. “If that is questioned, we feel totally manipulated.”
Bloom & Wild co-founder Aron Gelbard revealed the opt-out option originated from customer requests in 2019. The company saw overwhelming adoption, with 17,000 customers opting out within 24 hours. Contrary to fears about sales impact, Gelbard said customers ordered more at other times of the year, perceiving the company more positively.
Bloom & Wild launched the Thoughtful Marketing Movement to encourage other businesses to follow their lead. However, Gelbard noted that as firms unrelated to occasions like Mother’s Day began issuing opt-out emails, the approach started to seem performative and excessive. Many customers reportedly receive dozens or hundreds of such messages annually.
In response, Bloom & Wild stopped sending individual opt-out emails in 2024. Instead, they now offer a preference center on their website where customers can mute communications about sensitive occasions without direct prompts.
Marketing expert Vikki Randles of Fresh Perspective Marketing supports the concept when applied authentically. She says it is appropriate for businesses with products related to Father’s Day but questions the motives of companies with unrelated offerings using the practice.
Randles, who lost her own father eight years ago, often chooses not to opt out as she still buys gifts for her husband from their children on Father’s Day. She acknowledges the challenge companies face in balancing sensitivity and engagement.
For many, Father’s Day remains a difficult time despite the passage of years. The most meaningful approach may simply be respecting individuals’ choice to avoid marketing messages on such occasions.
If you or someone you know is affected by grief, support is available through the BBC Action Line.